Ha, was just looking at my blog posts from this past year and, well, I haven't been the most lucrative blogger. So, there's something to improve upon this year. Other resolutions include--more disciplined guitar practice schedule, write abundantly (solo and with friends), book lots of shows for this spring and summer, and record and release a new album! But more than all that, I resolve to nurture a voracious appetite for creativity.
When I was home over the holidays I tackled the project of going through boxes of stuff tucked away in a closet from my childhood. By "stuff" I mean piles of journals, scripts from shows, school papers and projects, so many notes passed from friends during class, birthday cards, prom corsages, and the list goes on. I'll admit I love this kind of thing because I always find it sweet, fun and sometimes very humorous to go down memory lane in this way. I had lots of good giggles overage 6-8 journal entries such as "I hope to play today" (that was the whole entry) and ones in which I described how many sleepovers I'd been having, or one where I talked about being sick but said "my mom bought this wonderful humidifier and instead of the air being cold, it's hot!". But going through all this stuff also served as a reminder of how much I have always loved to CREATE. To create songs, stories, plays, works of art. It always came so naturally to me as a kid. And more than that, I didn't give two shits about what anyone thought of what I was creating. Yes, ok, certainly it's always felt good to get the ego stroked and have positive reinforcement from parents or teachers or friends. But in the process of creating, I really didn't censor myself. I don't recall feeling much self-consciousness when I was a young girl. Just wanted to express myself in all sorts of ways.
I think I needed this reminder. I am still that same person and I still love to make life into art. And energy spent on censoring, wondering if something is "good enough" or how it will be received, is just hindering the creative flow. So here, at the top of this new year, I am very much looking forward to living with unabashed creativity and seeing where it leads!